Just A Rant, Don't Read

I honestly don't deserve what I have - my friends, Ringo, good parents, all that stuff. I don't deserve any of it. My friends are so so so amazing, and I don't deserve that, them. They constantly amaze me, and I wonder what they're doing with ME. I mean I'm not going to go fishing for compliments and say I have NOTHING good about me or NO talents or whatever, but honestly, I have a lot of faults. And I mean, everyone does, right? But like, you know, I accepted the way I look. I actually have, with a few times (like normal) that I go, aw crap, wish I looked better, but I always go, 'whatever' and move on with life. I'm not really shallow. To me, personality and intelligence are way more important than looks or appearance. I'm not stupid, I know that, but sometimes I wish I was smarter. Like actually. Or at least not a procrastinator - that is one of my New Years Resolutions. To not procrastinate. I'm not doing to badly, actually, but we'll see how second semester goes.

But like, in personality, while I KNOW I have assets, I have a lot of glaringly obvious faults - and the stupid thing is, I don't know how to fix them or change them. This whole post is complete evidence of my self-criticalness and selfishness. I can't tell you how annoying it is, but this is better than telling someone.

There's also..stuff, I feel towards people. I can't stand it.

I don't even know where I'm going with this, except I feel like an undeserving person. I hope my friends abandon me or whatever, because that's what I deserve, truly.

New Years

So 2008 is over. Wow. It was a HUGE year for me. And Ringo too. We overcame even more, and actually did really well. We've gained so much ground...

Then there was the boyfriend, England, band stuff, school, drama....But it was a really good year. The best of my life so far, I'd have to say. Wow.

So Ringo got not quite two weeks off (I worked him at a few points in there...So it was less then 10 days, broken up, but still) right before Christmas. Mostly because of the weather, which was REALLY, REALLY cold, and snowy (over a foot and a half now I think!). It was pretty sweet. But then Ringo hurt himself. Multiple times. How? Well he somehow cut right over his eye, but that wasn't too bad. Cleaned it up and it was fine and dandy... Then he was apparently grabbing onto Courage's blanket, and NOT letting go - even though Courage was kicking the crap out of his legs. Thank god he didn't have shoes.

So Ringo's got scabs all over his front legs, occasional swellings, there was heat, and he was lame for a day or so. He's still a little stiff sometimes but they seem to be healing, thank god. My deformed little klutz horse...

He's hacked excellently this week, and we had a pretty good lesson. My back is bothering me a lot again, unfortunately. I HAVE to do something about it soon....

I went to Monie's for New Years Eve, which was nice. Quiet and stuff, but fun. The next day we went to her barn and I rode Fuzzy. He was tons of fun - I really enjoyed it. His changes are HILARIOUS - he kicks out, sideways. It's super funny. He tested me a bit, but I passed.

We watched Jay O'Jay work with Broc, and his own horse, Cisco. It was pretty cool, I must say, and I really like him.

Went to the barn with Monie but my back was/is killing me...and the rest of my body too, from pushing my truck to get it unstuck on the way to Monies (note: don't take backroad shortcuts in winter). Yeah....

So for 2009 I have some goals, mainly to get my Eq right and to finally win a class. At some point. I don't care which one lol. The bigger the better, of course. But anyways...

I'm off since Monie is still here. <3

Musical And Injuries

So the musical ended tonight. It was so much fun. I hated it until the first Saturday performance - then it all came together. Everyone did such a great job! I loved being part of the pit, and playing the accordion was AWESOME! I did like arranging things too, but there was just SO many songs...

Tomorrow is band concert. I've had something every night. I was at school from just BEFORE 8AM-9PM on Monday (dress rehearsal). It was crazy.

We have also been getting WINTER! SNOW! BLIZZARD! COLD (-30 without windchill....and we were the only school in rockyview that had school!! AH!). It's pretty awesome, but I had to miss FOUR days at the barn. I came out on Tuesday, and Ringo had a HUGE cut above his eye, four cuts on his front legs, swelling in both knees, additional swelling and heat in the right fore, and a few more small scrapes. I was like WTF.

Apparently he grabbed hold of Courage's blanket and would NOT let go - held on, dragged him BACKWARDS, and STOOD there when Courage kicked him. Again. And Again.

My horse goes insane when I don't go out. He's retarded.

But he isn't lame! I free lunged yesterday, and we ran together, and today I rode for a bit. He was super!

So there was this thing with Eric - he flirited wiht me so much (so that I thought and JESS thought he liked me). So I got all excited about that. Now I'm like, 99.5% sure he doesn't like me. But he flirted with me tonight a lot. It's kinda frustrating.

Then the whole HIM thing. Ugh. It's stupid. I hate it. But I can't get out of it.

I'm thankfully over the Jess and Tim thing - us three are a LOT closer.

My mom FREAKED at me tonight for no good reason. She didn't come to my play. Ugh. It's just...frustrating. I tried removing myself from the situation and she just screamed at me and followed me. It's like... how can I be mature if you won't be?

I got grounded from doing anything but school and barn (cause god forbid I get driven to the barn...). Whatever. I'm taking Dina and Christina out tomorrow. It'll be my last chance, and she can't stop me.

It's Been A While

I haven't updated in a while, mostly because I've been so busy. I have two weeks left before Christmas break. Yay. Lol. My cousins are actually coming for christmas this year - I haven't seen them in four years. It'll be crazy, and hopefully good.

We're in the middle of a HUGE snowstorm. Emphasis on snow. There's over 6 inches - maybe a foot?? It's awesome. I drove to the barn and was sliding everywhere and all that. It was crazy. Ringo was good today too - I rode bareback and worked on straightness.

Speaking of straight, Ringo and I have made a HUUUUUGE breakthrough on that area. Finally. We jumped a 4'0 vertical on our own the other day (right before the big breakthrough) and it was incredible. He jumped the HELL out of that fence, no lie. The next day we jumped a 3'6 oxer and a 3'9 vertical. Holy crap. He's being amazing.

So I met another guy, I guess. Well I've known him for a while. But we went out with two of my friends, and had a really really good time. Eek.

Ironically I started liking him at band camp. Exactly a year after I started liking my last boyfriend. Yikes. Freaky. Band camp knows all apparently. Lol.

So that's about it. Byes.

Updates

So Ringo is better from his slight injury. I ended up not calling the vet cause it went through it's cycle and he wasn't lame. So you know.

Lessons have been going good.

Two people have left my trainer because of her new partnership. It's really sad because having two trainers that work together like that on it's own is good - you get double the opinion. Plus she has TONS to offer, but she expects you to work hard. So whatever.

School is going okay, over 2/3 done my first semester...yay! Band is going well. I did another clinic for my band teacher, and it was tons of fun. It made me really want to do music education for university again. -sighs-

I want to take english, history, music, psychology...lol...

My best friend is dating one of my closest guy friends now. I'm super happy for both of them, especially since no matter what it'll be good for them. It's kinda weird though, because sometimes I feel used, especially since I can drive.

Actually I've been feeling used quite often lately, something I've rarely felt before.

But whatever.

I dunno. I'm not in a ranting mood, for once. LOL.